Chucklebutt

Chucklebutt has been around since the summer of 2016. Chucklebutt is the name we have given to the extreme anxiety that we have come to learn is a main component of LBD. It was the first major issue that made us realize something was wrong.

I realized early on that this issue was not going to go away, that it would be walking in front of us, trying to block our way, beside us, trying to trip us up, and behind us, trying to push us in directions we really didn’t want to go. Chucklebutt is this capering, jabbering, relentless shadow that has invaded our lives. A real asshole. That’s why I decided to name it, so we could understand when it was the driving force behind some of the new behaviors Mr. Dewey was displaying. It is a derisive, dismissive name that allows us to acknowledge when that anxiety is in charge, so Mr. Dewey could try to push it aside.

I can often tell by Mr. Dewey’s voice and body language when Chucklebutt is in charge. That’s when I ask “Is this you talking or is this Chucklebutt?” We’ve found that by asking that question, we can gain a bit more control over it. I will suggest that Dewey tell Chucklebutt to fuck off, which he dutifully does. Or he will toss it out the window as we drive down the road, or tell it to stay at home. It helps. It helps Dewey reform the question or comment, or just acknowledge that Chucklebutt does not necessarily have Dewey’s best interests in mind.

Of course we have medication that helps more than anything, but by identifying the anxiety as a being that is a real and permanent part of who Dewey is, yet one that can be managed mindfully, we find it doesn’t block, trip or shove as much as it might.

Chucklebutt is a part of our lives now. Ah well. We all have THAT neighbor. This one just lives with us.